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What are you looking for in a Mediator?

I would like to say that I know everything there is to know about family law, taxes, retirement, negotiation, conflict, parenting issues and all the myriad topics involved in Divorce Mediation.

It wouldn't be true and can never be true. There are specialists and experts in each of those areas that we can get if you need them. If you have a complicated situation, use a mediator for mediation and get good referrals for the areas you require an expert.

Beware the person who claims to be a specialist in all those areas. During Divorce, you are having some interesting thoughts, might be a little bit less than the best version of yourself and want someone to have your back.

You want a trusted guide to be honest enough to tell you, "I don't know. Let me get you someone who does." It sure beats the person whose ego is too large to admit they do not know and then they mess it up. How often does this mediator refer to specialists?

Quick example, a local CDFA and I were having lunch... She talked about her fee and how people balk at paying her fee. (Both Professionally and Personally, I consider her fee reasonable.) When they pay her fee and she saves them 3-4 times the amount of the fee, they realize it was money well spent.

Do they recommend you have someone go over the agreement or understanding, to check everyone's assumptions? It is a big document, with big implications for your future. Why not have another set of eyes on it, to ensure it is thorough, durable, accurate and everyone is protected? The clients who want to save money and do a cheap divorce and do it quickly are frequently dissatisfied afterwards. Don't be one of them, please.


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They have been talking about the fact that they don’t read each other well. Her signals and his signals are not the same. They tried this: What signals do I interpret as you care? Clarifying- “it is n

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