• donboice

Don't Repeat The Mistake

Most second marriages fail because the person incorrectly assumed the problem was their spouse and didn't correct their own failings.

Imagine going to a counselor before there’s a problem...to create a better future for you and your partner. .. to increase the odds of it working out successfully.

Personally, I would rather anticipate and then prevent a problem. It is easier, less painful and causes less stress than repair and recovery once you discover the problem. If you know yourself, you know what your issues are and you can make a good guess as to the fact that this particular issue is going to surface in your next relationship. What if you took care of it before it affected the relationship? What if you know what the issues will be in your relationship and you went as a couple to a couples counselor before the issues affected you, not to play clean up the mess.

Imagine in the first year of dating, regularly going to a counselor to improve your communication skills and stack the deck in your favor. The downside? Even if you break up, you walk away with valuable relationship/communication skills for use with a future partner.

Or think about this: Your relationship with yourself dictates how well your relationship with others is going to be. If you can improve your relationship with yourself, you create your future. If you can resolve issues, you are less likely to affect your future relationships.

Many people don’t choose counseling until the problem is almost insurmountable.

Imagine doing good self-care and self-love so that in the new relationship you’re able to love that other person more deeply and more fully. When you are self critical, you are more likely to be critical of others. When you are compassionate to yourself, you increase your odds of being compassionate to your partner. Imagine being as healthy as you can be!

Before you get out there and date again, post-divorce, make sure you take care of business.


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