Can I Trust You to Do What You Say?
Here’s another one I hear quite a bit, in my words to protect the speaker,
“I get that life happens and it is also true that there is a penalty imposed for getting close to you. I am wary of getting close to you because you don’t seem to like it. You talk about how much you’re looking forward to seeing me at night and cuddling etc.
You repeat that you can’t wait a couple times (which I understand to mean something different than you mean). Those words have begun to push me away because I have associated them with what invariably happens next. Nothing. You seem bored that I am there. You barely talk to me and you interrupt when I talk. What exactly were you looking forward to? I got my hopes up that we could have a good conversation, kiss, cuddle etc and it is frustrating to not be able to trust that what you say is going to happen, will happen. I’d like to talk about our cycle of doing this.”
Please ask yourself, do your words and actions match?
When you say something, do you follow through?
If you change your mind about what you said or promised, how do you communicate that to your partner?
If you are now tired, but it seemed like a good idea at the time, how do you let them know?
When people are breaking up, they want to know what happened and at some point, they are interested in how to make it better. Keep your word. When trust is broken, the relationship can struggle to recover.
For your next relationship...Two keys to dating are agreeableness and conscientiousness.
Are you aggressive or agreeable?
Are you conscientious and considerate of the other person, anticipating needs they will have and tuned in or is it too much to ask?
Are you so busy with what is going on in your world, that you have become self-absorbed and have no time for your loved one?