Does this sound like your situation?
“I’m not really even sure what the mediation process is, how long it takes or how this works but everyone said to do mediation because it’s so much better than going to trial.”
“Can this process help me? How protected am I?”
These are common responses from people approaching mediation and divorce.
What is Mediation?
“The process of mediation is the management of other people’s negotiations, and the mediator is the manager of the negotiations who takes charge of the discussion of the issues to be resolved. The more coherent and organized the process, the easier it is for the participants to arrive at solutions that are reciprocal and appropriate for them.
When there is an apparent conflict of interest, the nature of the legal system requires the participants to be adversaries. We are not naturally inclined to be adversarial and we are not adversaries. We have needs that we recognize and we have strategies to meet those needs. You clearly understand the importance of maintaining your ongoing relationship and that is why you chose mediation.” - John Haynes, Ph.D.
As a mediator, I am not a judge who can be won over to one side or another.
I am committed to the agreement not to any one person.
I am to be fair and will do my best to balance my attention between you; you have control of the content and I own the process itself.
I do not accept one person’s unilateral definition of the problem.
I help you develop options to solve your problem.
I will hold no secrets from you and will not allow you to withhold information from the other. That is what it means to be a mediator.
Most people prefer to settle their family matters within the confines of the family.
Outside professional intervention is frequently limited to the mediator. Since only one professional is usually involved, the cost of resolving this dispute is much less than in the legal system.
All discussions are held face-to-face, so it takes less time. The exception to this would be when the parties ask for a caucus. We can discuss this in person.
Call Michelle, the Office Manager, today to set up a time for us to meet. Her direct number for mediation only is 585.441.0954.
"Mediation is about coming up with solutions that work for your family. I help you find information, talk about issues effectively and without hostility. I am not a lawyer, don't practice law or want to, and I certainly don't tell you what decisions you should choose." Don Boice
“Mediating a settlement after separation or divorce is an active process in which the mediator helps you identify all the issues that need to be covered in your agreement. Your mediator will help you work out what it costs to live apart, an, using that information together with your current income, help you determine the amount and duration of financial support the children, or perhaps one of yourselves may need. We will help you identify all of your assets, work out their value and help you to divide them fairly. We will also help you make a plan for future parenting decisions…”
One spouse should not win at the expense of the other. We provide you with the opportunity to negotiate reciprocally beneficial terms in total privacy.
The process is a joint search for a reasonable solution; so neither partner can gain at the other’s expense. Resolutions of problems between separating couples will lead to a settlement created and accepted by both. You control the decisions that affect your own lives…
We ask that you share in the fees in a way that is appropriate to your situation, bearing in mind that the mediator is working for both of you…Mediation takes less time for those without children.“
This information is courtesy of John Haynes, PhD
Please choose mediation because it is better, not just because it is cheaper!
Want to know more about my mediation? Go to and and type in "Don Boice" to learn more about mediation and hear ways to make your mediation more successful. There is a ton of information I put there for you.
Orientation to Divorce Mediation
How would you prefer to learn about the process of mediation? Think about your learning style and choose which works best for you.
An audio-https://archive.org/details/OrientationToDivorceMediationWithDonBoice This is the link of me talking about my approach to Divorce Mediation and how it could benefit you, what to expect. It will take about 15 minutes from start to finish and you can replay it as needed. Sometimes, the emotions are such that we cannot really hear or process what the person is saying. You can email me if you have questions or write them down and we can talk about them before we start. This is great for audio learners.
PowerPoint presentation- https://www.slideshare.net/dboice/divorce-mediation-73671633 This is my PowerPoint on the overview /orientation to divorce mediation. This is best for a more visual learner.
In person – In the 30 minute orientation, I can review your concerns and what the process options are, the cost and length and what order you need to do things. You can email me if you have questions or write them down and we can talk about them before we start. This is best for someone who would like things written down/in email, in addition to hearing it from me and asking me questions, face to face. (All my articles- what I will email to walk you through so no guesswork, all the MOU articles we will hit, MOU and not separation agreement, refer to audio and PowerPoint, show you my info/legal library, give a folder)